faizel: (working)
Faizel ([personal profile] faizel) wrote in [community profile] londoncallingrpg2017-04-06 05:58 am
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Since Valentine's Day, Faizel had been quite content to remain at home. He went out for groceries, occasionally crossed to the Other Side to pick up odds and ends- But mostly he was home, seeing students, reading his books, and avoiding the world that waited outside his door. That world, he'd found, just wasn't built for him. Surviving it involved pretending to be someone he just wasn't, and he just... Couldn't do that. It didn't work. He'd tried and failed, and had lost Sunny in the process of failing to strike a balance between faking confidence and staying true to himself. 

Sadly, as much as he'd have liked to become a hermit (preferably the wise sort people occasionally sought out while on exciting quests he didn't have to get terribly involved in), that simply wasn't in the cards for him. To keep his job he did, in fact, have to occasionally go out and meet parents, potential students, and even students who were no longer in his care. Today that meant a trip to a local cafe, where he'd just finished discussing potential schools of higher learning with a former student who was trying to keep a foot in both the mortal realm and the magic one. 

It had turned out to be quite a heavy conversation, especially when the topic had turned to love. For all it was reassuring to hear one of his former students confess they we're struggling to maintain a relationship because of who they were (dating a non-magic sort was never easy), it was also deeply depressing. It was a reminder that sometimes love simply wasn't in the cards. Sometimes it didn't matter how stable you were or how badly you wanted it- It just wasn't meant to be.

Usually he'd have scurried off home, but his student's worries (and his own) were weighing heavily on him, and he'd found himself ordering another cup of tea.

The worst part of the aftermath of his relationship with Sunny, if he was honest, was the guilt. ...Guilt over the fact that he honestly felt alright most of the time. He missed her, hated knowing he couldn't just call her or drop by and say hello. Hated the strange void he felt in his chest when he thought about it all being over. However, it felt good not to be worried all the time, to not feel wrong or broken constantly. Spending time with Sunny had turned into a stressful thing, never knowing when she was going to cry or get upset, always attempting to interpret feelings he didn't fully understand while pushing himself to be more normal when he just hadn't been ready yet. He had stumbled into being a boyfriend before he'd been ready to be anything more than a possibility. It was like jumping into the deep end before learning to swim. It had been exhilarating and beautiful, but- It felt good to be back in the shallow end with the ground beneath his feet once again, free to float with the knowledge he could touch the floor if he needed to.

(OTA- Find Faizel at any cafe enjoying some tea.)
akatawitch: (Blue)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-06 01:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Sunny's heart skipped a nervous beat when she saw him.

She'd wanted very much to reach out, wanted to see him, wanted to talk to him, but... well, to use her own terminology, she was the bastard here. How was she to know when it was a good time to reach out? Faizel had never struck her as the type to nurse a grudge, but you really didn't hurt people much worse than when you were dumping them, did you?

So she'd just stood there and watched him for a long moment until suddenly she grabbed her courage in both hands and approached. "Want some company?" she asked softly.

It was as much courage as she could muster, and still it was ready to break at the slightest indication of disapproval.
akatawitch: (Holding Back)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-06 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
The gesture was unexpected, and Sunny's face flushed a faint pink as she accepted the chair. "Thank you." Though honestly, now that she was here, she didn't have the first clue what she should actually say. And... when such things happened, it was best to fall back on something old, something tried and true that you didn't have to think about. "How have you been?"

It was a loaded question, of course. But it was also the only one.
akatawitch: (Default)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-06 03:05 pm (UTC)(link)

Sunny considered that, worrying her lower lip with her teeth. It wasn't that she didn't know so much as she wasn't sure how to express it in this moment. So she went for, "I've been better. There's a lot going on right now."

akatawitch: (Thoughtful)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-06 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)

Sunny smiled softly, more relieved than she knew how to say. "Thank you for trying. And neither have I, really. Or Felix. I got a book from a titan that I'm sure will prove useful, but it's not going to lay out what exactly it is one does in this situation."

Edited 2017-04-06 19:31 (UTC)
akatawitch: (Deceptively girly)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
Sunny nodded. "I know I should just find an idea and develop it and try it... but I'm afraid of breaking something, I think."
akatawitch: (Beyond the pale)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Sunny squirmed and looked down at her hands in her lap. "You may be doing too much credit. I think I'm more stubborn than sharp."
akatawitch: (Two cultures)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
"That's true," she allowed. One of her hands lifted to tuck a braid behind her ear that didn't particularly need any fussing with. "Though I don't know what to say to Anael. What do you say to someone who's so much more powerful than you'll ever be, who has seen more of the history of the world than you can actually understand, when he's afraid?" The last time she'd seen him she'd clung to him and cried like a child, even though he was the one in greater need. Selfishly, she didn't regret that she'd done this. She only regretted that she didn't know how to give him anything he needed in return.
(deleted comment)
akatawitch: (Into the Wilderness)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Sunny nodded. "That book I mentioned. I found the symbol in it. It's not unlike Nsibidi in one important way. There's a lot of nuances, a dozen meanings all woven together, and you have to hold onto all of them at once in order to use or undo it. The difference is that Nsibidi practically asked me to read it and this language is completely foreign."
akatawitch: (Pensive)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Sunny nodded. "I can loan you the book for a while, actually. I don't have it with me right now, but you might catch something I didn't. Though..." She raised her eyebrows slightly. "I don't know what Prometheus would do to me if anything happened to it, so I'm trusting you if you take it."
akatawitch: (Default)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)

"If you say so," Sunny said with a shrug. "But I do trust you."

akatawitch: (Default)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 06:01 pm (UTC)(link)

"It's more that I only have a very limited idea of who he is," she explained softly. "And I try to be cautious around anybody older than I can even fit into my head."

akatawitch: (Into the Wilderness)

[personal profile] akatawitch 2017-04-07 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Sunny was quiet for a long moment herself, looking down at her hands and watching the way she was twisting them in her lap.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

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