OTA

[quartermaster_q]

Q had managed to remain out of the field for a bit now, confined to his lab and Q branch, quite happily. In fact his world, as a whole, had been delightfully calm. He and Bond had spent the holiday abroad, doing things the office didn't need to know about... And he'd returned to London uncharacteristically chipper.

Today he was at a cafe not far from the office, hiding behind his laptop as usual- However, he seemed slightly less closed off than usual. Where he usually blended into the background, or made a point of not engaging with the world, today.... Today, however, he seemed interested, watching people pass by out the window, and even occasionally glancing up to see who was coming and going in the cafe.

In fact, he was so engaged with the world, that he didn't notice his laptop screen flicker strangely before returning to normal.

Comments

[alcuin]

Alcuin only nodded, looking a bit sad. "Is there anything I could have done to make you like me?" he finally asked.

[quartermaster_q]

"It's never been about liking or disliking," Q assured him. "And honestly, why would you want me to like you?" he pointed out.

[alcuin]

"Because I've always liked you," Alcuin sighed. "You're smart, and interesting, and you understand things about me that many others don't. Except, I mean, I don't like that you've been kind of a dick to me. I'm not a masochist."

[quartermaster_q]

Q didn't think he'd ever been cruel to him. Cold, yes, but he didn't see how that made him a 'dick'.

He looked at Alcuin for a long moment, then shook his head. "I'm not going to list things that would have 'made me like you'. It's a pointless exercise, and you know it. It can only result in you either grieving things that can't be changed, or picking apart everything I say, looking for the key to making us dear friends. ...And there isn't one, because I don't dislike you, Alcuin. I simply find you a difficult man to trust, something that forces me to remain cautious and detached. I'm sorry if that wounds you, that's not my intent. I'm protecting myself, and I'm protecting James. Nothing more."

He fidgeted with the small wedding band he wore now, a very thin bit of silver, easy to miss if someone wasn't looking for it.

"I'm not sure what it is you want from me anyway. I'm not exactly 'BFF' material. I can't talk to you about work, I hardly have a social life outside of James and the cats. I can count my friends on one hand, and two of them are co-workers- And that's without counting Bond."

[alcuin]

"I guess it doesn't matter," Alcuin said quietly, after all that. "I might have liked you as a friend, but - you don't want that. It's fine. I don't know what I could do to make you trust me, so..." Finally, he offered a small shrug. "Please tell James I said hello, though. Hannibal was fond of him."

[quartermaster_q]

Q was silent for a moment, then sighed.

"And James was very fond of him. We both were. ...For whatever it's worth, I am sorry, Alcuin. I can't imagine the pain you're in right now. ...Well, no, I suppose that's not completely true. I can imagine."

Terence had been abusive, a cruel bastard of a man who'd nearly killed him. He'd also been a lover though, and Q had grieved him. Deeply.

"...You should find a way to honour him. Something just for you. It wont magically sooth away the ache in your heart, but- It helps."

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked down at his hands, wincing. "I..." He took a breath. "Thank you. I will... try."

Then he looked up at Q. "I know that you likely couldn't tell me if you found out something about his death. But if you do... and you can... I would of course appreciate it."

[quartermaster_q]

Q nodded, opening his laptop again.

"Should I uncover something that I'm able to share, I will send it your way," he agreed, pausing, then frowning to himself as he realized what he was about to say next. "...Should you require anything, you're welcome to contact myself and James."

Hannibal had been so kind when James had been burned. Was, honestly, likely the reason James had managed to find him in time when he'd been taken. They would never be able to repay the doctor directly, but they could help Alcuin.

[alcuin]

When Q opened his laptop, Alcuin got to his feet. "Thank you," he said, quiet and sincere. "I won't keep you any longer, but I... will remember your offer."

[quartermaster_q]

Q nodded a little, then returned to checking his email.

"Take care, Alcuin. If there was someone after Hannibal, they could well be looking for you next. I'd advise increasing your security."