OTA

[alcuin]

It had been a while since anyone had randomly recognized Alcuin. He credited this in part to the fading memory of the city (despite the tabloid flair-up around the holidays), and in part to his decision to cut his hair. He'd also taken to wearing glasses, which were a prescription weak enough that he'd typically gone without them in the past, but he was spending considerably more time in front of a computer these days than he had when Anafiel was alive. Maybe it was a little Clark Kent of him, but he definitely wasn't noticed as much this way. And it wasn't even just being recognized, but he also got less attention. Which caused... more conflicting emotions than he would have anticipated.

In any case, this all resulted in his looking like a rather normal young man sitting at an outdoor cafe drinking coffee and reading a copy of Jon Ronson's new book So You've Been Publicly Shamed. It struck a bit of a chord with him, to be honest. He was glad he hadn't spent much time on social media last year. He really didn't want to know what Twitter had thought of him.

The cafe was busier than usual, perhaps due to the weather being nice, and it was a Friday just late enough for people to skip out of work early. He reached over and took his bag out of the other seat at his table in case anyone wanted to join him, as there were no more empty seats around.

Comments

[alcuin]

Alcuin looked genuinely surprised by the question. "Yes," he finally said, entirely sincere. "Whatever it is..." He let his voice trail off. "I know you think you probably know the worst of me. You don't." And when it came to the very worst - past just the spying, past the things before, but instead now, secrets about where bodies were buried - only Hannibal knew.

[harrowgate]

Now it was Felix's turn to look surprised. "I don't suppose I know the worst of anyone. Most people will never be in the situation to learn the worst of themselves. Besides, nothing you've told me has given me any reason to think ill of you."

[alcuin]

"Same," Alcuin said simply. Then, with a note of cheerfulness, "Another drink?" He waved to the bartender.

[harrowgate]

The contradiction in how Felix saw Alcuin, and how he saw his own situation, was just beginning to dawn on him. If there was nothing wrong in Alcuin's past, then his own ought to be the same... except that Felix felt very strongly that it wasn't the same. He just couldn't say why.

"By all means," Felix answered to the offer of another drink, now that the bottle of wine was empty and he was feeling the steady swell of warmth in his blood. "If you don't mind pouring me into a cab at the end of the night."

[alcuin]

The waiter brought over another bottle, and Alcuin smiled at Felix. "Not at all," he said. "I'll do the same. Or if this is such a nice hotel as you say, I could also just pour myself into a comfortable bed." He laughed.

[harrowgate]

"All alone?" Felix asked, very much against his better judgement, though his smile remained sparkling and his tone remained playful.

[alcuin]

"It wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me not to offer to save you cab fare," Alcuin said before bringing his new glass of wine to his lips. He felt pleasantly buzzed.

[harrowgate]

Felix decided then and there not to think about this too intensely. "You are a consummate gentleman," he agreed, and gestured in acknowledgement to Alcuin with his own freshly filled glass. His voice lowered to a velvety purr as he added, "I... am not."

[alcuin]

"Aren't you?" There was a note of breathlessness to the question, and Alcuin chased it away with another swallow of wine. His mind was a jumble of thoughts. Hannibal. Shannon. Anafiel, his red hair, and Felix... not being a gentleman.

He felt strangely giddy at the thought that he could just do something, could just take something because he wanted it, without any thought to the consequences.

[harrowgate]

An entire tapestry of possibilities laid out before Felix, with Alcuin at the center of it, even sweeter and more tempting than the wine. He brushed aside many of the same thoughts that rose in Alcuin's mind, disregarding consequences as easily as he ever had.

"Perhaps in public, I can play one convincingly enough. But I forget all my manners when an intoxicating young man invites me to share his hotel room."

[alcuin]

Intoxicating. From Felix, who praised his intelligence rather than his beauty, but still thought him beautiful even with with short hair.

"I could say the same," he finally said, with a little smile. "You're hardly even older than me."

[harrowgate]

"I lose my manners for intoxicating men who are older than me, as well," Felix answered glibly, his brows dancing in merry suggestion. "If I'm very lucky, they try to teach me to behave."

[alcuin]

Alcuin bit his lip, looking amused. Then said, "I... can understand that. And dear Hannibal does try, sometimes."

[harrowgate]

Now that drew Felix's interest, like a moth's interest in a flame. He sat forward in his hair, leaning on the small bar table to dangle his glass in his hands. "I don't suppose you'd like to tell me all about that," he invited in a low voice, watching Alcuin intently. "I promise a word of it will never leave my lips."

[alcuin]

Alcuin skated his tongue across his teeth, a touch anxious. "Oh, Felix, I shouldn't," he said. "Talk about Hannibal, I mean. He wouldn't like it. But, it's only..." He could talk about the dead, though, right? "Well, Anafiel, he treated me like I might break. Sweet and gentle and... and solicitous. Nearly to a fault. So afraid of seeming like one of my clients, I assume. And I don't know what it is that makes me want..." His voice trailed off.

Then he lowered it even more. So low it was nearly inaudible. "He allows me to submit when I wish, because he knows it pleases me, but I can tell his heart isn't in it."

Too much wine, too much wine. "You cannot repeat that."

[harrowgate]

Felix listened to every word hungrily, anticipating each one on Alcuin's perfect pink lips. He drank his wine only absently. When Alcuin finished, Felix tilted his head. "You have a lover who wants to please you so much that he sets aside his own primary desires to fulfill yours. Darling, I'm not sure I understand what the secret is."

[alcuin]

Alcuin's lips parted for a moment as if in surprise, but then he only looked down at his glass and smiled a little. "I've impressed upon you what a private man Hannibal is. If he knew I was talking about our sex life I can't imagine he would like it very much. But the point is well taken, and I can assure you I was not meaning to complain."

[harrowgate]

"Not at all. I quite understand. It's the sort of thing made all the more delicious by enthusiasm and hunger on the part of both partners," Felix observed, working with some difficulty to erase any trace of bitterness from his voice. His lips curved faintly in a smile, and his eyes were lidded and suggestive, discouraging Alcuin from looking more deeply into them.

"Don't worry, darling, I'll never breathe a word of this to your dear doctor."

[alcuin]

Alcuin did catch just the barest hint of that tone. Enough to make him wonder if perhaps he'd had a similar issue with Shannon. If Felix too liked to be dominated on occasion, Alcuin did not find it difficult to imagine Shannon being similar to Hannibal in his lack of a taste for it.

Of course, it left he and Felix quite the pair. At least Felix would know he would find no help with Alcuin in that regard - though that was probably already obvious. Alcuin didn't exactly come across as the dominant sort.

"Thank you," he said quietly, and then added with a slightly sheepish smile, "And of course, I should mention that I enjoy all manner of pleasure." He didn't want Felix to think that Alcuin expected him to serve any particular need.

... assuming that was where this was going. Which he thought it seemed to be. They really should get a room soon or Alcuin was going to find sitting here to be increasingly uncomfortable.

[harrowgate]

Felix remained as he had been drawn by Alcuin's delicate, careful allotment of tempting morsels of detail: leaned on the table on his forearms and watching Alcuin speak with frank fascination. He spoke quickly on the heels of Alcuin's statement. "Don't qualify your desires, darling. You should be given whatever you want. Men should be dueling over the privilege to pin you down and pleasure you."

[alcuin]

A slight flush rose to Alcuin's skin, though it was not embarrassment but simple heat rising in his body. "I might say the same of you."

[harrowgate]

Felix's lashes veiled his eyes for half a moment in acknowledgement of the compliment, strange as it may seem to anyone outside, who didn't understand. He didn't exactly advertise that particular desire. It left him too vulnerable, too unprotected. "I don't have the patience to cultivate a proper dominant, and one-night strangers never quite get it right, I'm afraid."

[alcuin]

"I wouldn't trust a stranger," Alcuin said, immediately. "Not to have control over me, not anymore." He was much warier these days of one night stands in general, but he certainly wouldn't be submissive with one.

[harrowgate]

"I have thought..." Felix caught himself before admitting that he had thought about paying for the pleasure. That was too much to say, even to Alcuin who understood. The words died on his lips, and he melted into a smile that he hoped would distract from what he nearly said. "I understand. You can make the decision now, and merely making the choice is freeing, isn't it?"

[alcuin]

Alcuin relaxed visibly. "Yes," he said. "Though I was never forced into anything, I still... I mean, it is nice to have no other motivation, nothing to answer for but my own desires."