OTA

[prince_of_nymphs]

 The hardest part was keeping the lies straight.

"I thought you were only having one of your eyes done?"

"I did, the other I had done abroad- It was a spur of the moment choice..."

"Your so pale now..."

"The medication, it doesn't sit well with me."

"You're so thin!"

"No appetite. It'll get better though, I'm sure."

He'd anticipated that though. He'd known he'd need to lie and fib left and right, until people just accepted he could see again- And that perhaps he was still a touch unwell. What he hadn't anticipated, however, was the resentment that many of his old friends seemed to  suddenly feel towards him. It was one thing when Fin was a rising star- But pitiable because of his disability. Now, however... Now he was already receiving television and film offers left and right, and that... That apparently upset a few people.

He'd been leaving one of his favourite coffee shops when he nearly walked right into Phil. A man he'd worked with many times in small productions. A good actor, but older- Perhaps past his prime in the eyes of many.

"Oh! Phil, how brilliant to see you," Fin had smiled, offering his hand, and looking puzzled when it wasn't taken.

"Brilliant is it?" Phil replied, raising a brow and ignoring the offered hand. "So posh sounding these days, Fin. I don't remember you being posh- Not when you were sleeping on the streets, begging for parts. ...Wouldn't know you were dragged up in Manchester with that posh voice you put on."

Fin's smile faded slightly, and he forced an uncomfortable laugh. "Bad habit, I suppose," he said awkwardly.

"Not a habit," Phil assured him. "Just as fake as the rest of you, that's all."

Fin's smile faded completely then, aware that people were staring now. "Right," he said awkwardly. "Well, I should... I should be off."

Phil smiled then, a vicious smile. "I suppose so. That casting couch wont get warmed without you. ...Catch something, have you?" he added, looking Fin over with a sneer. "Should be a bit more cautious, Fin. ...Or is it Finlay now?"

Fin didn't answer that, he simply turned away trying to hide the embarrassment he felt as he started walking and brushed off a young woman who tried to stop him for a selfie.

Comments

[just_hex]

"I'd like to think they'd be better to watch. Listening...do you notice how many times I flub my lines?" he chuckled. "When you watch I take me shirt off."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"A sight I've certainly missed," Fin smiled, holding his tea in both hands to try and warm them- Impossible though that was. "For whatever my opinion's worth though, I think you speak your lines beautifully."

[just_hex]

"THanks for that," Hex smiled. "So...go on, out with it now that we're alone because I'm dying to know. How'd you get your eyes back?"

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin's smile faded, and he looked down into his mug.

"I traded for them. Willy and I were- Well, where we were isn't important I suppose. The point is I was offered my sight in exchange for something I didn't fully understand- And it worked, but..."

Putting his tea down, he got to his feet and crossed over to Hex, taking the man's hand and putting it over his heart.

[just_hex]

At first Hex grinned, thinking Fin was having a laugh. But then he felt no beat and the nurse in him took over. His face became serious and he put his fingers to Fin's throat to feel for a plse not there.

"You're impossible," he said. "You should be dead, not having bloody tea. My god, you traded your life for your eyes? But...your magic heart..."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I am dead, I think," Fin said quietly. "Animated, breathing, but not living. ...I went to see a man about it, and he said if I keep a very special diet I'll remain like this forever."

[just_hex]

"Forever?" he replied in wonder. "Fin, that's brilliant. You and Willy really will have always. You'll never get older or sick? Bang on!"

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I'm dead," Fin replied. "And no, I'll never get old or sick, but look at me. I'm- I'm skin stretched over bones like glass."

[just_hex]

Hex stroked Fin's cheek and held his shoulder.

"No, you're not. I've seen the dead, the dying. Pensioners who've starved to death. You don't look like that, Fin. You look like sculpture."

He paused.

"Really skinny, pale sculpture." And he laughed and braced for a punch.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin didn't strike though, he smiled, touched by Hex's words and moving to embrace him.

Thin arms wrapped around the other man's shoulders, and he pulled Hex close for a moment before letting go.

"I hope you're right."

[just_hex]

"Of course I am," Hex replied, feeling quite cocky after earning a hug. His hand remained on Fin's shoulder, then he slid it down his arm and let go.

"You're working again, yeah? Not that you quit. I heard some of your radio plays. God stuff. Who was that I saw leave when I came up on you? He looked like an actor."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin's smile soured slightly, and he nodded.

"Phil- He's done theatre work mostly. My stand in when I was doing Reap, actually. ...I think he's- Not to sound full of myself- I think he's jealous that I've landed a lead in a mini series," he admitted. "He had less than pleasant words for me."

[just_hex]

"Less that pleasant? That your nice way of saying he was being an arse?" Hex asked. "I wondered because you didn't look very happy."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin hummed, then shrugged, attempting to act as if it hadn't bothered him.

"He said my new accent is, and I quote, 'as fake as the rest of me', then implied I'd shagged my way onto telly."

[just_hex]

"That's bullshit, mate. You know he's just being a prick. None of that's true," he replied, angry on Fin's behalf. "You're brilliant. You're madly talented and beautiful to look at- of course you're a star."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Except he's not all wrong, is he?" Fin countered, pulling out his cigarettes to light one, then stopping himself when he realized Hex might not want him smoking here. "He's right, I didn't sound like this when I came to London. I didn't even sound like this until last year. I changed the way I spoke, changed the way I presented myself- Because I knew that's what people wanted from me."

[just_hex]

"I don't see anything wrong with that." Hex sighed softly. "I left Liverpool behind me, and all that went with it. You're entitled to leave your past behind you and become who you're meant to be, Fin."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"But what if there's nothing left of me?" Fin asked, toying with the cigarette he'd pulled out from its pack as he spoke. "I came to London with an empty wallet and a heart condition. Now I'm a corpse with money I don't know how to spend."

[just_hex]

"You can't be serious, Fin. You're..."

Hex sighed and shook his head, then took Fin's cigarette away only to put it into his mouth.

"You know who you are. Even when strange things happen, you see the unbelievable, you do mad things and it changes you, part of you is always the same old person. Trust me on this, yeah? The Doctor changed me but I know who I am. You're not lost. You're confused."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I feel lost though," Fin sighed, sitting down again, this time right beside Hex. "Everything feels a bit terrifying right now. I should be excited, I've got a brilliant role to play, and I can see again... Everything I ever wanted."

[just_hex]

"And now you don't know what to strive for, is it? You've got it all? Life, money, sight, talent, people love you, Willy loves you? Charmed life, yeah? Hard to be a tortured artist."

Hex slipped his arm around Fin and pulled him close to hold him.

"Except it's not. Plenty of famous people, really creative people, live with demons. You...you've got troubles, Fin, same as the rest of us, they're just...different. Everything can't be roses."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin leaned lightly into the embrace, then sighed.

"I know- I know, I just... It's just hard, and the fact that it's so hard to just smile and enjoy it makes me feel guilty," Fin admitted, shrugging a bit, then reaching to take his cigarette back.

"May I? he asked, moving to put it between his lips. "I'll go outside if you like, I don't mind."

[just_hex]

"Yeah, let's go out back to the garden," he said, nodding the way through the posh house to the back door out the back utility room. THe garden had a covered patio that was furnished, Spencer had done an A+ job making an outside living space that would stay dry in London. And beyond that was a bench by some dying lavender.

"Here, I've got a pot of sand for you."

And it was just for Fin. He was just about the only smoker Hex knew who'd come to his house.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Oh, cheers," Fin smiled, sitting down and lighting up once they were outside.

It was chilly, and Fin shivered a little as he took his first drag.

"I can't get used to the cold," he admitted. "I never seem to stay warm, not unless I've got a heater right next to me, or a bit of Willy's magic."

[just_hex]

"Do you want me to fetch you a jacket? It's just inside," he offered, bt he knew that wasn't the point of it. A jacket couldn't make Fin warm. Life was warmth and the man was...dead. Undead. Here and awake and aware but his body had stopped. Hex had never seen the like.