OTA

[willysilver]

It was a lovely night by all accounts. The weather was just cool enough for a jacket, the breeze making the leaves flutter and twitch. The moon hung bright in the sky, nearly full, and in the park there were people enjoying the night.

Willy was out busking tonight, though he had no heart for it. No joy, no enchantment. Tonight, as for the past nights, he sat on the edge of a fountain and he played sorrowful songs of lost love. He understood them now. He had never truly understood love, that much he had come to realise since Fin had departed. He knew desire and passion, he knew friendship, he knew possession, but he had never understood partnership or equality or even the necessity of respect. He knew now, though.

It was a hard learned lesson. His music wasn't the only thing lacking enchantment. His own visage was ashy grey, his luxurious hair drooped flat, the curls dull and limp. There was no light in his green eyes, they were flat and dull and dark.

His fingers strummed the strings mournfully.

I've stolen all the stars to make a wish we can fly
Away, away up high to that old place in time
Where our pictures never fade and our hearts don't lie
Won't you stay a while and watch our world go by
I'll keep holding on to you and your Saturday smile

Has our Autumn died
Help me find you again

I think it's love
I think it's love
That gets us through
All our goodbyes
So when we die
Think of love
I'll think of love
And thoughts of you
To lay me down
I think it's love
That keeps us new

If only it could be the very first time
Kiss me like it means something inside
I don't want to leave and I'm afraid to find
Our fate die in a dream and let me know you're not mine
Lie a little longer, my Saturday smile

Has our Autumn died
Help me find you again

I think it's love
I think it's love
That gets us through
All our goodbyes
So when we die
Think of love
I'll think of love
And thoughts of you
To lay me down
I think it's love
That keeps us new

The people who passed nearby were struck by the power of the fae's melancholy. He mourned not only his lost love, but the fact that he couldn't find him. He had visited the hotel many times but now the Phouka and Winter had gone off to make a home of their own and Fin did not come or go from the hotel anymore. And the longer he was gone the harder it became to feel him with any specificity in the city of millions. He knew he needed to find Fin to speak to him, do make what repairs he could, but he could hardly find the energy to even strum the stings tonight.

Comments

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin laughed, a pained and broken little sound.

"So talk," he said, not even bothering to go into the cafe, and instead resting against the wall outside.

[willysilver]

"I have been cruel to you. Not only the wish Hex made, but every day before. I thought I loved you, but I only kept you. Desired you. You were mine because I wanted you," he said softly.

"I know now how foolish I am. How wrong. You are a light in my life. You are my heart. You have power equal to my own, not magic, before that, even. You are a powerful man and I never respected that part of you and I am wrong. I do not know how you could love me so completely and I could be so blind. I love you and now I say that with a greater understanding. I love you, Fin, and I am deeply, truly sorry."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin was silent for a long moment, closing his eyes and inhaling a deep breath to centre himself.

"Say I believe you. Say I believe that you've somehow learned to love me as an equal... That- It doesn't undo what you did to me," he said quietly. "You gave me to someone. You took away my ability to say no. ...You as good as let him rape me. Do you understand that? I ask, only because I'm not sure you do, Will."

[willysilver]

"I do understand," he replied, barely more than a whisper. "The truth of it burns me and I have never regretted anything...I do not regret. But I regret this. I regret ever thinking...not thinking of you first above all. I preyed on Hex's loneliness and desire to gain a mortal soul, and I turned you over like a pimp without regard for your trust or your will. I would ask your forgiveness, but I do not deserve it. I must earn it if you will allow me the chance."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin exhaled with a shudder, rubbing the stubble on his chin, then looking away.

"I don't know to forgive you for this. I imagine it'll take time. ...Time, and you showing me that you've changed," he said softly.

He pushed his hair back out of his face, then sighed. "You look sick. I don't... I don't want you to be sick. How can I help?" he asked quietly.

[willysilver]

"I am fading without you. If you would come back to me I may recover, but I fear the distance of your heart is more than you simply being removed from my presence. I must win your heart again. It is no small thing to say you are a part of me. You complete me. Without you, evermore, I will become Daoine no longer and fade to a Bean. The Sidhe do not die, but we do change."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"That's not fair, making me the one thing that could save you. It's not fair. I don't want you to fade, but I can't just pretend that all is forgiven," Fin protested.

[willysilver]

"I know. I want this to be your choice, not your burden," he replied. "I do want you to come home but...you are free as I am. I cannot make you, though I would plead."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I don't want you to beg," Fin replied, perhaps a bit harshly. "I just- I need time, Will. I think... I think if we're going to try and work things out, I need my own space a while longer. I'm staying with Pippa, and I think I should stay there until I, um... Until I feel safe around you again."

[willysilver]

"Of course. As you should. I want you to come back to me freely. I would ask to see you, though. I miss you terribly," he replied, daring to reach out to stroke Fin's arm.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin tensed briefly, but eventually relaxed under the touch.

"I miss you too," he admitted. "People keep telling me I should walk away. That I should leave you. I can't though. I love you. I'm angry, and I'm hurting, but... I love you."

[willysilver]

"I love you as well," he said, daring to move his hand to cover Fin's heart. "I know now the truth of what I say. My love is pure and true."

[prince_of_nymphs]

His magic lit up under the touch, and it felt so good. Better than any high, better than sex.

"Damn it," he swore softly, looking away and wishing he hadn't trapped himself against a brick wall. It left him with no elegant way to retreat.

"It's not fair, you know that?" he said softly. "This bond we have. ...It's not fair. No one makes me feel the way you do. No one."

[willysilver]

"Perhaps. Perhaps it is unfair. But it is true and real. No one makes me feel like this. No one touches me the way you do. Your words. Your fingers. Your love. I am ever yours, Fin."

He was not so cruel as to attempt a kiss, though he wanted to with every fiber of his being. More than anything he wanted Fin to take hold of him.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I miss you," Fin said softly. "I hate missing you. I think about you all the time. I distract myself by giving my body the things it desires, but... I ache when I think about you. I ache."

[willysilver]

"I am so sorry, Fin," Willy said. "In all things I never want to cause you pain. And yet I do. With every thoughtless act, every moment of inattention, and I am sorry. Would you...could you give me a chance to be worthy of you finally?" Willy asked.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin was silent for a long moment, closing his eyes so he could focus and think.

"Tell me I'm your equal. ...Don't just say it," he added, opening his eyes and holding Will's gaze. "Mean it. Tell me that I'm your equal, and mean it."

[willysilver]

"I cannot. You are not my equal. You are far more fair, more kind, more wise. I would like to be your equal, but I have much work to do," he replied.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin honestly wasn't sure why, but though he would have been touched by those words not so long ago, now they left him angry. If he was so wonderful, how had he been so easy to hand off to someone else? It was hard to swallow as anything but pandering.

Pale skin turned slightly paler, pulled tight over sharp bones as Fin's magic lashed out, reaching for Will not with the want it usually had, but in anger. Dark, wild, vicious, it clawed at the other fae. Fin's eyes went slightly cloudy, that familiar glassy look he'd worn when his sight had been stolen from him. Together it all painted a portrait of what he was now, a wild creature in the body of a mortal.

"You forget me," he said, the words coming out in not his own voice, but a perfect imitation of Will's. "How many times did you remind me of who you were, prince? How many times did you thoughtlessly count me among your many possessions?" he asked, his voice returning to normal.

He tilted his head, and for just a moment, he looked more like a reflection in a shattered mirror than an actual being of flesh and blood.

"Oengus Mac," he whispered, the name shivering with power. "You forget yourself, prince. You don't see me as a better, you're just in pain, and you know I can fix it. Don't pretend to shed your arrogance, I won't let you pretend to worship me, I don't want that. I want to be on even ground, nothing more."

He exhaled, and leaned in closer, ghosting his lips over Will's.

"Kiss me," he whispered. "Kiss me, and I'll show you pain. I'll show you every moment of fear and hurt I've felt since that night. You think you've suffered? I'll show you suffering. Maybe that's the first step. Maybe you need a taste of humanity."

[willysilver]

Fin's power was so much stronger than it had been and the force of his anger nearly mae Willy scream. The words stung him like iron, piercing into his flesh. He found he was sore afraid of Fin and in that moment he truly recognized they were equals, though Fin's power was more wild, more raw, though just as dangerous as his own.

A kiss. A kiss and pain. He hesitated for only a moment as fear warred with desire. But he wanted Fin's lips. No price was too high to be able to taste him again even for a moment.

His hand rose to cradle Fin's cheek and he bent low.

"I am sorry," he said, then he sealed his fate with the press of his lips.

[prince_of_nymphs]

The kiss was soft at first, but grew harder as all the pain and hurt he'd felt came crashing through it. ...He hadn't counted on being forced to relive all those emotions himself, wasn't even sure how he'd known he could do this at all. He just had, and it simply happened.

His heart ached, and he sobbed as he drew away, not wanting to break down again. He was so tired of being hurt, so worn down from the constant ache. It was so much better to push it away and focus on something else. Anything else.

Except with Will here, he couldn't. He couldn't hide from what was right in front of him.

[willysilver]

Willy reeled from the pain that flooded through him. Physical, mental, it was pure torture. When Fin broke the kiss Willy still felt it, an ache that soaked into his very bones.

"You will never forgive me," he said quietly. "I am so sorry, Fin."

His heart beat slower and his skin went pale grey as he turned from Fin to leave him. Perhaps if he allowed himself to succumb to the changes that were happening then Fin could move on and find happiness.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin was trembling, but a few deep breaths had him still again, his eyes fixed on Will's back.

"What a shock, you'd rather run and hide than face this down. ...Coward," he accused, his voice a soft hiss.

What Will seemed to forget was that this wasn't a one way street. They were linked, deeply, spiritually, physically. As Will gave up, Fin started to wilt, his power retreating and his skin going slightly grey.

"Coward," he said again, his voice cracking now as he tried to keep himself steady. "So like you- You'd rather we both fade away than face what's happened. ...How can you be so unkind to me? How can you say you love me, ask me to bind myself to you, and then throw yourself into the river to sink like a stone?"

[willysilver]

He grew weaker with every step he took away, but before he lost all strength he turned back to face Fin. The wind began to blow as the remaining power he had surged.

"Coward," he repeated. "Coward? Would you have me fight, then? Are you looking to beat me down even more? Kiss me again and shrivel my insides and stop my heart? What will make you happy, Fin? I will grovel. I will beg. I will drag you home by your hair and reign over you. Or I could stand here, bare and weak and humble, and tell you I am sorry. That I understand your pain. Would I rather caoine until I turn to vapor and wind? No. Would I rather you die in your own way? Of course not. I want to be with you. Forever. I love you beyond measure and I understand now what that means. I did not before. Not truly. But your kiss...would you even have me back? Would you ever trust me? Love me? Or would you only be with me because you must to live?" he asked.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I don't want you to fight me, I want you to fight for me," Fin snarled, though the power and anger wasn't there anymore, and it was more a whimper than a growl really.

"I told you I'd give this a try, but that pain needed to be shared as much as we share everything else. ...I can't carry it alone if we're going to try and repair this."