OTA - Dated 2/12

[wispofathing]

How do you bear it?

Curnen had never heard Peggy Goins sound so tired and broken in her life. Miss Peggy had always been vivacious and cheerful, but she was taking the murder of her husband on top of all the other recent mayhem in the Tufa community about as well as could be expected. Which was to say, not at all. Tragic love stories were not new to their people, but the murder of a loved one… well. Curnen was the last to face that, which was why she supposed the now widowed Mrs. Goins was calling her. She couldn’t remember much if anything of the conversation, but that question had stuck with her.

How do you bear it?

It had banged around in her dreams by night, and by morning the barriers that Curnen had consciously or unconsciously put between herself and her past were in splinters and everything in her that wasn’t nailed down was shaking loose--her father and her mother and her husband and her birth and her curse. She tried to go about her day. She tried to put it all away again where it was supposed to be, but there was too much, too much too fast.

How do you bear it?

Her legs gave out in the middle of the sidewalk and she fell to her knees screaming. Not crying. Screaming. Screaming fit to tear her throat raw. Her hands tangled in her hair and tore at it almost hard enough to rip it out by the fistful, and yet the pain of this did nothing to soothe the storm inside. If anything, it seemed all the more determined to make itself known, the air temperature around her dropping sharply into freezing cold.

And she screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

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[sunsongs]

The anguished screams had Coby running before the fear of what he might find could register. Who? First Vanessa. Then Anael. It made no logical reason that in a city the size of London, the person on the other end of the screams would be someone he knew, but in his mind, he was sure it was a friend.

Fuck him to hell for being right. Oh god, Curnen.

Coby dropped to his knees beside her, not feeling the cold as he wrapped his arms around her. He growled a very American, "Fuck off," to some asshole passing by as they tut-tutted the display of raw emotion. Then ignoring everything else, he held Curnen almost rocking, and began to hum under his breath, nothing familiar, a tune just starting to come together in his head.

[wispofathing]

Too overwhelmed to really register what was going on around her, Curnen didn't fully realize that someone had gathered her up for a moment let alone who. And even then she didn't exactly think so much as recognize Coby's scent and the feel of his body and she almost instinctively climbed into his lap and put her arms around him like she was holding on for dear life.

She went quiet for a moment, less calmed than momentarily bewildered. And then the sobbing started instead, her whole body shuddering.

[sunsongs]

At the sudden lapful of Curnen, Coby had to adjust, eventually full on sitting on the pavement – and screw anybody who had a problem with it, his friend was falling apart – curled around and over her smaller form as he held her tight. Her stroked her long, now-tangled hair gently, rocking in time with the quiet melody that faded to nothing before he murmured, "I'm here. I've got you. Just let it out."

What was wrong and how he could help could wait until she'd cried herself out, for the moment at least.

[wispofathing]

Let it out she did. Curnen wailed for longer than she thought she'd ever been able, decades of pent of grief trying to get out all at once. Even so, her energy could not keep up with her emotion, and when she quieted it was more from exhaustion than from actual calm.

If she heard a thing he said, she didn't reply. Only made soft, almost animal noises of confusion and pain.

[sunsongs]

Sometimes exhaustion was the only thing that could stop the flood. It had been awhile, before he'd come to London, since Coby had shattered quite so completely, and he barely remembered except what people told him later. It was enough to recognize the difference between having nothing left and feeling better.

He kept up the gentle touches, making no move to let go. "Come on. My place isn't far," he told her softly. Get her some food, something to drink, or just a safe place to rest and someone who cared until she felt more herself.

[wispofathing]

Curnen nodded, the simple movement sluggish and almost dazed, but she managed to sit up and pull away from him. Getting to her feet proved to be a bit more difficult, as though she couldn't quite remember how to do it. She remembered vaguely that she should not, but something about staying on all fours felt almost comforting.

[sunsongs]

Coby helped her up and continued to take some of her weight once she was on her feet, support both physical and emotional. Hell, as tiny as she was, he could carry her if she needed it. The temptation to fly was there too, but Coby couldn't ignore the levels to what a bad idea that would be right now. Arm around Curnen at his side, Coby started leading them back to the church apartment.

[wispofathing]

Curnen for her part for once did not feel like she was in danger of dissipating into mist, but like she was all too solid and real and heavy. Her head felt twice as heavy as it should, and it lolled when she wasn't paying attention.

She looked rather like a madwoman, but she couldn't be bothered to consider let alone care about that.

[sunsongs]

They drew a few more stares, but Curnen was too out of it to notice and Coby had his priorities straight. It wasn't long until they got to the church, and at that point, he did pick her up. He'd maneuvered plenty of wasted friends up flights of stairs to know it could be a bitch – to be fair, friends had done the same for him as often – and carrying her tucked against his chest was just easier.

"We'll get you some water. And something stronger if you want it," he told her, mostly just for the sound of his voice. He wasn't sure how much she was really hearing right then. "Then whatever you need I can give you."

[finlay_flynn]

Fin had been in a nearby cafe, lunching with someone his management team had stressed he ought to impress- So he was almost grateful for the sudden screams that drew his dining companion to the window, and away from his personal space- Right until the moment his magic urged him to do the same.

Curnen was terribly easy to pick out of a crowd. Small and spritely looking- Even now while crumpled on the pavement.

"Shit," the fae said softly, pushing past the crowd and deserting his companion to get out the door and onto the street. Kneeling beside her, Fin gently caught her by the shoulders.

"Curnen? Curnen, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice low and calming.

[wispofathing]

Hands were touching her, and there were words, but Curnen could not distinguish them let alone summon the presence of mind to answer them. But by the feeling of his magic and the sound of the voice, she knew it was Fin. It was more an instinct than a conscious thought.

She only shook her head wildly from side to side. Not that she would not answer, but that she could not.

[finlay_flynn]

"Shh, it's alright. It's alright," Fin soothed, pulling her closer and ignoring the passers by who were watching them.

His hand moved over her back in small circles, and he kept her near as he spoke softly in her ear.

"Whatever it is, it'll be alright. I promise."

[wispofathing]

His words may as well have been Greek for all the sense she could make of them, but Curnen did allow Fin to gather her closer. The feeling of his hand rubbing her back startled her out of the scream.

And then she started sobbing instead, big sobs that shook her whole body, and she held on tight as thought she feared she'd fly apart entirely without him to anchor her.

[finlay_flynn]

Fin said nothing now, he simply held her and offered comfort.

[wispofathing]

Curnen cried uncontrollably, wailing loudly almost in Fin's ear and not attempting to muffle or restrain herself. But storms like this could not last so very long if only because a body couldn't keep it up even with so much grief inside. Eventually she stopped because she just had to, all but melting against Fin with no regard for where they were or anybody staring.

[finlay_flynn]

"Come on, up you get," he said, trying to help her to her feet. "Let's get out of the street, hmm?"

[wispofathing]

Dazed, docile, and desperately trying to catch her breath, Curnen let Fin stand her up though she wobbled rather unsteadily on her feet. Whether or not she actually understood a thing he just said was open to interpretation. She made a sound that might have been assent. Or dissent. Or just a sound.

[pixiesweat]

Manuel was nearby and had come over to investigate the screaming. He hadn't expected it to be coming from Curnen. After getting over his initial surprise, he walked over and stood awkwardly a short distance away from her, worried but unsure what to do.

"...Curnen?" he asked, in a quiet voice, once there was enough of a break in her screaming for him to be heard.

[wispofathing]

Curnen didn't hear him. Certainly, she didn't react in any way to indicate that she had, but with blood roaring in her ears and the maelstrom of her mind, she just about couldn't hear him and only wailed again, doubling over against the pavement.

[pixiesweat]

He hesitated a moment then came closer, crouching down next to her.

"Curnen?" he said again, louder.

[wispofathing]

Lost in her own world, she still did not hear him. Her magic's lashing out made the air grow colder and colder still to the point of being painful to breathe.

[pixiesweat]

He hadn't wanted to touch her. He didn't know if she'd want him to, or if it would upset her even more, but talking to her clearly wasn't going to work, so he reached out, holding his breath against the biting cold, and gently touched the back of her hand.

[wispofathing]

The touch was light and tentative, but it was also something solid and real and Curnen's head snapped up as she went instantly and eerily silent as she tried to assess if this was a threat or not.

Her eyes were wide, panicked, and had gone full black.

[pixiesweat]

He stayed very, very still.

"Curnen?" he said, again, hoping she would hear him this time.

[wispofathing]

"Yes?" One word, barely more than a puff of air. She might not have said it at all.