Saturnalia GP!

[goodfellow]

It was a good night at Saturnalia.

There was some b-list American rapper-slash-DJ who had shown up earlier in the day, and Robin was happy to throw someone on stage. It had gone over well right away, so he'd let him stay on. And now it was well into the evening and things were, as Robin understood the current vernacular to be, turnt.

In fact, at some point he'd thrown open all the windows so that the music blasted onto the street, and instructed the bouncers to let in whoever wanted in. He'd also instructed the bartenders to serve all the beer half price. The resulting crowd and frenzy was really something else.

Comments

[harrowgate]

Hellish magic, demon language. Felix had to remind himself not to let his own prejudices get in the way of what he was hearing. Behind every metaphor, there was truth, and that was what Felix sought. First a spell, then a seal. But why?

"Can you tell me, what was the result? Of the seal they placed on you, I mean. I know that you lost your powers, but from what you said earlier, not everything."

[whispersoflove]

"I don't have - powers," Anael began to reply, using Felix's own words. "I am what I am. I've only -" succinctly, horribly, "been tethered to Earth. I'm unable to return to Heaven. I still am what I am, what I have always been. But Heaven is unattainable to me." Not quite like a peri; he still had the full range of what Felix called his powers. And definitely not like a fallen angel, much to his relief.

[harrowgate]

That was a different picture of the situation than Felix had had before. "That sounds more like a binding than a seal," he murmured, because there was a difference to him and it was a significant one.

"Anael," he said presently, thoughtful, "I know that you said you go to Heaven when you're not here. Can you describe that to me? Is it a physical place, as you experience it?"

[whispersoflove]

"No, it isn't," Anael confirmed, heart aching at the thought of his home. "And I've tried before, and failed, to describe it. There are no words for Heaven, not in any of your human languages. I cannot tell you where it is, either. It simply is. This," he pulled a hand out of his pockets to gesture at himself, "is a physical manifestation of my nature, and they have bound me in it."

[harrowgate]

Oh. Felix's brow furrowed. This was just one more thing for which Malkar had never prepared him, and the Cabal had refused to acknowledge.

"You're a spirit. And this corporeal form is manifested only when you visit this plane." He sounded both doubtful and clinical, as though describing a medical procedure he didn't think would work. But in the back of his mind, Felix could only think one thing: to bind a spirit to a physical form was necromancy.

[whispersoflove]

Anael had never minded Felix's scepticism. He had faith in the ways that mattered, and Anael had faith in him. But now, now he found himself praying, with all his heart, that Felix's scepticism would not get in the way of what help he might be able to bring him, selfish though that prayer was.

"Yes," he confirmed with a nod, studying the wizard closely as they walked.

Physicality. It had always felt like a luxury, to him. Now it felt like a prison.

[harrowgate]

"The only magic I know to separate a spirit from a body is not magic I will perform," Felix said quietly. This was as serious for him as it was for Anael; he did not know if he could, bound by his oaths, do what was being asked of him.

He drew in a breath, and then went on, "So I can't view it that way. You have been bound and you need the binding released. I... I honestly don't know what will happen after that, Anael."

[whispersoflove]

It was a good thing that reality aligned itself so nicely with what Felix needed to view this as. Anael was telling him what was, and not what he wanted to hear.

"I have faith," Anael replied to his words. "If the binding is undone, I will be free again, to return home."

[harrowgate]

Good that Anael's faith comforted him, but Felix wasn't so certain. "I think you're right, but what if you can't return here?"

[whispersoflove]

Anael hadn't actually thought about that possibility. He frowned, now that he did, and felt his heart torn. He wanted to refuse it as a possibility, but God might yet decide he needed more punishment. He shook his head. "I have to take that risk, Felix. This is not where I belong."

[harrowgate]

Felix didn't look at him. He did not know what to believe about Anael, but if he really was a spirit bound to a corporeal form, Felix didn't like the idea of banishing him from the material world. "I need to talk with Sunny more. She understands your myth... your metaphor better than I do. She wants to use Faizel, too, I..."

The wizard trailed off with a frustrated little sigh. "I don't have any experience with this, Anael. I'm not supposed to use magic on sentient beings, not for any purpose. I don't know if I'm even capable of helping you."

[whispersoflove]

Anael nearly reached out for Felix, but his hand halted before it might reach his arm, and he pushed it back into his pocket. "I'd never ask you to do anything you don't want to, Felix. If you can't help me, that's all right."

Anael would not despair. He would keep ignoring the pit of dark emotions in his chest, and focus on his faith, on his love. He swallowed against the tears he could feel building up, and blinked a couple of times before giving Felix a reassuring smile. "The fact that you're looking into it is already a lot."

[harrowgate]

"It's not all right," Felix said fervently, turning to Anael even as they walked. "What happened to you is unconscionable. Your body was manipulated beyond your control, without your consent. Don't you dare minimize it, I won't allow it. "

The wizard's jaw was set and his gaze was hard, furiously determined, as if Anael's ordeal were a personal affront to him and his magic.

[whispersoflove]

Anael was again seized by the urge to reach out for Felix, and was glad that he had slid his hands into his pockets, helping him resist it. "I'm not minimising what's been done to me," he told Felix gently. It was an abomination, an insult to God. His place was in Heaven. His nature was incorporeal. There was the same anger he could see in Felix's eyes burning low inside him, and he was doing his best not to fan or indulge in it. Wrath was not the answer. "I'm telling you you're not responsible for setting it right. I'll welcome your help, but the responsibility is not yours."

[harrowgate]

Felix had to swallow back another passionate declaration, lest he betray so much of his own feeling that Anael might guess why he felt so strongly. "I... I know," he answered haltingly. "But I'm here."

And he had all of this power, brimming inside him, and he spent nearly all of it poured into ancient structures and staid patterns, meant to 'protect' a land that hardly seemed in need of protection at all.

[whispersoflove]

Anael's features only gained in sympathy. "It is the most unbearable feeling, isn't it. Knowing that you might help, but not doing so." He sucked his lips in, looking away, then focused his gaze back on the wizard. "Whatever your conscience dictates, and your abilities allow, Felix. I will not resent you, if you cannot, or will not, help."

He could of course do nothing to alleviate Felix's guilt, but he hoped that knowing that Anael would not blame him might help.

[harrowgate]

Felix could think of one or two more unbearable feelings, but it was impossible for him to attempt to challenge Anael's determination to think of him as a good person. He'd tried. "Your absolution is appreciated, but I haven't the same assurance from Sunny, so I'm still in grave danger of condemnation," Felix said with a tart tone.

[whispersoflove]

"I think the person Sunny will be most cross with, should you fail to helo me, will be herself," Anael pointed out. He shook his head with a quiet sigh. "Is there anything else you need from me? Would you..." He winced. "Would you like to see the rune?"

The sigil burned into his skin made him so ill at ease that even around Coby, he did not go shirtless. It always felt as if acknowledging it gave it more power over Anael's feelings.

[harrowgate]

Felix spent a silent moment in acknowledgement of this difficulty. He did not like baring his own scars. "I'm afraid it would be very helpful if I could see it, Anael. We can go somewhere else, if that would help. Indoors, private."

[whispersoflove]

"Depending how long you might need with it," Anael answered. The change of location was not for himself, but for the fact that it was probably best not to draw attention.

[harrowgate]

Felix did not wish to spend too very long lingering on this, nor did he want to draw out the discomfort by taking Anael home with him. He saw a hotel on the next block, and gestured Anael to come with him. "Up there. If you don't object to some brief trespassing, I'm sure we can find a reasonable place."

If you acted like you belonged somewhere, anywhere, then other human beings generally tended to believe that you did. Felix walked them into the hotel lobby and past the reception area as if he had every right to be there, then went looking down one of the halls for a conference room or lounge that saw more frequent use during the day. Locks were no issue for him, even the electronic ones that most hotels had these days. All he had to do was convince the electricity to stop flowing long enough for him to open the door.

[whispersoflove]

With someone else, Anael might have suggested cloaking them, but that would require touch, and he did not think that Felix would want to be holding his hand as they made it into the hotel, and to privacy. Besides, he trusted the wizard's own skills, and simply went with him without doubting that it would all work out.

And as the door closed again behind them, his mind was on other things than his faith in Felix. There was no need to take off clothes, at least, and he turned to the wizard and tugged down the collar of his t-shirt, revealing the dark rune seared into his flesh, right where his collarbones met. It itched all the more as he revealed it, an itch that was not purely physical, but that also grated against his very essence.

[harrowgate]

The rune was not one that Felix knew, though its form was somehow familiar to him. His brows knit as he inspected the mark, committing it to his memory so that he could consult his books later. "What do you know about it?" Felix asked, trying not to sound interested in the wrong ways. "Its origin? Language? Does it have a name?"

[whispersoflove]

"It's one of the languages of Hell, I know that much," Anael answered, a frown settled on his brow. "If it would help, I could probably find out more." He wasn't certain how reliable Crowley's information might be, but perhaps if he asked Aziraphale to intervene in his favour, he would be able to trust the demon with that small request. He knew the truth of the feelings between them, after all.

[harrowgate]

"It would help," Felix told him, simple and sober. "I don't know what this means, or if my resources will give me any hint as to translating it. I'd like to take a photo, if you don't mind."