OTA

[alcuin]

It had been a while since anyone had randomly recognized Alcuin. He credited this in part to the fading memory of the city (despite the tabloid flair-up around the holidays), and in part to his decision to cut his hair. He'd also taken to wearing glasses, which were a prescription weak enough that he'd typically gone without them in the past, but he was spending considerably more time in front of a computer these days than he had when Anafiel was alive. Maybe it was a little Clark Kent of him, but he definitely wasn't noticed as much this way. And it wasn't even just being recognized, but he also got less attention. Which caused... more conflicting emotions than he would have anticipated.

In any case, this all resulted in his looking like a rather normal young man sitting at an outdoor cafe drinking coffee and reading a copy of Jon Ronson's new book So You've Been Publicly Shamed. It struck a bit of a chord with him, to be honest. He was glad he hadn't spent much time on social media last year. He really didn't want to know what Twitter had thought of him.

The cafe was busier than usual, perhaps due to the weather being nice, and it was a Friday just late enough for people to skip out of work early. He reached over and took his bag out of the other seat at his table in case anyone wanted to join him, as there were no more empty seats around.

Comments

[alcuin]

"School, mostly," Alcuin admitted. "I rather threw myself into my studies this past semester, perhaps avoiding other things. Which is why I've been rather scarce, I'm afraid. And yourself? Are you well? And Shannon?"

[harrowgate]

Felix's hesitation was brief, but just enough to warn Alcuin that his response might be less than pleasantly conversational. "When last we spoke, he was well enough. We're currently living apart. Seeing other people."

It wasn't untrue, not really. Felix was seeing enough other people for both of them.

[alcuin]

Alcuin's lips parted in a surprised O, and then he swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, Felix. For someone as hurting for friends as I am, you would think I would try to be a better one myself." Because he hadn't spoke to Shannon lately either, and had had no idea.

[harrowgate]

Felix flicked his fingertips, not dismissively, but only to excuse the apology. "I doubt he would have told you, even if you asked. Neither of us deal well with... with the evidence of our own failures."

[alcuin]

"The end of a relationship doesn't necessarily mean there was failure on the part of either party, just..." But Alcuin let his voice trail off, and then offered a wry little smile. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm offering you advice like I have any idea what I'm talking about."

[harrowgate]

A flicker of a smile answered Alcuin's. "Your faith in us is... refreshing," Felix said. "My colleagues and Shannon's family equally assume we're merely incompetent at relationships."

[alcuin]

"I'm fond of you both," Alcuin said gently. "Sometimes things just don't work out, and maybe it wasn't meant to be." He cleared his throat and looked down at his cup. "Or so I understand." After all, he'd only had one other relationship, if it could be called that, and Anafiel was dead.

[harrowgate]

The difficulty remained, unfortunately, that Felix loved Shannon. Not simply, and not easily, but loved him nonetheless. "You understand more than I do, I fear. Would it surprise you to learn that Shannon is my first and only bona-fide relationship?"

[alcuin]

"Perhaps a little, but only because I tend to expect everyone to be more well adjusted than me when it comes to relationships," Alcuin said with a little smile. "I'm not sure I've ever had what most would consider a traditional relationship, current status included."

[harrowgate]

"No?" Felix snatched the opportunity to talk about someone other than himself. His smile strengthened, just edged with a faint tease. "You don't bring the doctor his brandy when he arrives home from a long day at the office?"

[alcuin]

Alcuin laughed, trying to imagine such a thing. Actually, the thought of being in Hannibal's home when Hannibal wasn't there... it seemed utterly unthinkable, which now that it came to mind, perhaps was a bit strange.

"Let's just say that it's difficult to imagine our living together," Alcuin said after a moment. "Hannibal values his privacy a great deal. Though - " He took a drink of his coffee. "Unlike would be the case for many men, I don't think it has anything to do with who else might warm his bed."

[harrowgate]

"Yes, that's more of a problem for some of us than for others," Felix drawled, not even hinting that he was the one with that exact problem. He didn't appear in the least repentant, which might indicate part of the problem between himself and Shannon.

As he spoke, he considered Alcuin, his mind working quickly behind those sardonic brows and odd eyes. Felix spoke before he had a chance to think better of it. His tone became instantly more serious, more calculated. "Alcuin, I hope you take this in the spirit in which it is intended. If a man is giving you every indication that he prefers to keep his secrets, please... believe him."

[alcuin]

Alcuin opened his mouth, then closed it again. Considering. "I know that he has secrets, even from me, and that he guards them jealously. I suppose I don't mind as much because... he's let me in so much more than anyone else. That I know, as well."

He sighed a little, carded his fingers through his hair, now just long enough to do so. "As for the rest of it, I don't know, maybe we're a good pair, he and I. He doesn't want a... boyfriend, and I don't think I know how to be one anyway."

[harrowgate]

Felix appreciated that Alcuin understood the seriousness of his words. He desperately wished his own secrets had remained buried. "It's such a casual term, and from what little I have seen, 'casual' is not a word that would ever describe Doctor Lecter. He clearly holds you in the highest regard, and I imagine that his respect and affection is a rare thing. If privacy is his price... well. I can tell you I would pay it."

Felix shook his head thoughtfully. "He is dreadfully attractive in a severe, strict-professor sort of way."

[alcuin]

That sentiment actually made Alcuin relax a bit. There were others who thought that there should be no secrets between those who loved each other, and that the keeping of them could only be a sign of bad things.

A smile tugged at his lips. "Yes, I would say that is a perfect description."

He had gotten to the bottom of his coffee cup. "Felix, do you have plans for the evening? I would actually really enjoy continuing talking to you, perhaps somewhere with more alcohol."

[harrowgate]

Felix drained the rest of his tea. "Darling, you've spoken the magic word," he declared, sitting up and setting his cup aside. "Somewhere we won't be noticed, or somewhere we absolutely will?"

[alcuin]

"I tend more towards the former these days," Alcuin said, smiling. "But you needn't worry about not being admired, because I will be there to notice you."

[harrowgate]

Felix's eyes positively lit. Those were the other magic words. How could he resist an offer of such beautiful attention? "I know just the place. A hotel not far from here, I think, full of business travelers who ignore each other as much as possible. You'll love it."

[alcuin]

"Sounds perfect," said Alcuin. He slid his glasses back on and slipped the book into the messenger bag at his feet.

It felt so terribly normal, going to have a drink with a friend.

[harrowgate]

Felix pressed up to his feet as well, gesturing Alcuin to come along with him.

Even though it turned out to be only a few blocks away, Felix summoned directions to the rather posh hotel on his phone, and seemed to rely on them quite heavily. Nevertheless, he chatted amiably as they walked, largely about the books he was reading, and what Alcuin was learning at school.

Mentally, he was calculating how much he could drink and still remain a good judge of his own behavior. It would be all too easy to lure Alcuin nearer, tempt him into being alone with Felix. As delightful as that might be, it was sure to dismay the people he and Alcuin cared the most about.

"They have excellent food, as well," Felix was saying as he caught the door for Alcuin to go through, "but I had the entire menu ten times over while I was staying here, and I don't think I could bear the lobster ravioli one more time."

[alcuin]

"Where are you living now?" Alcuin asked once he'd gone through the door and nodded politely in thanks for the gentlemanly gesture.

[harrowgate]

"I have an apartment," Felix answered, not untruthfully. His rooms at the Mirador House were more spacious than even his luxury hotel room had been. "It's rather sparse and bare, and I spend as little time there as possible. It's little more than a glorified closet with my library attached."

He ushered Alcuin toward the bar, smiled at the young lady at the hostess stand, and had his pick of the quiet and darkened tables away from the windows. Felix even drew out a chair for Alcuin before seating himself. "And yourself, do you live on campus?"

[alcuin]

Alcuin chuckled. "No," he said as he slid into the seat. "Goodness, I don't think I could handle such a small space. I did move into a smaller place, a townhouse. I inherited Anafiel's estate after he died, but a couple of months living in that large house by myself and I just couldn't take it anymore."

[harrowgate]

Felix settled himself opposite Alcuin, and requested a bottle of wine from the server who appeared attentively at their table. "I hope you don't mind white, darling. This is a favorite of mine," he consulted with the other man before sending the server off.

"Solitude seems so tempting until you attain it," Felix agreed, once they'd settled on their opening round of drinks. "I spend most days wishing everyone would leave me alone, and then they do, and I hate it."

[alcuin]

Alcuin was happy to let Felix decide on the wine. He settled back in his seat comfortably and watched him for a moment, then said, "I think I understand exactly what you mean."