OTA

[prince_of_nymphs]

 The hardest part was keeping the lies straight.

"I thought you were only having one of your eyes done?"

"I did, the other I had done abroad- It was a spur of the moment choice..."

"Your so pale now..."

"The medication, it doesn't sit well with me."

"You're so thin!"

"No appetite. It'll get better though, I'm sure."

He'd anticipated that though. He'd known he'd need to lie and fib left and right, until people just accepted he could see again- And that perhaps he was still a touch unwell. What he hadn't anticipated, however, was the resentment that many of his old friends seemed to  suddenly feel towards him. It was one thing when Fin was a rising star- But pitiable because of his disability. Now, however... Now he was already receiving television and film offers left and right, and that... That apparently upset a few people.

He'd been leaving one of his favourite coffee shops when he nearly walked right into Phil. A man he'd worked with many times in small productions. A good actor, but older- Perhaps past his prime in the eyes of many.

"Oh! Phil, how brilliant to see you," Fin had smiled, offering his hand, and looking puzzled when it wasn't taken.

"Brilliant is it?" Phil replied, raising a brow and ignoring the offered hand. "So posh sounding these days, Fin. I don't remember you being posh- Not when you were sleeping on the streets, begging for parts. ...Wouldn't know you were dragged up in Manchester with that posh voice you put on."

Fin's smile faded slightly, and he forced an uncomfortable laugh. "Bad habit, I suppose," he said awkwardly.

"Not a habit," Phil assured him. "Just as fake as the rest of you, that's all."

Fin's smile faded completely then, aware that people were staring now. "Right," he said awkwardly. "Well, I should... I should be off."

Phil smiled then, a vicious smile. "I suppose so. That casting couch wont get warmed without you. ...Catch something, have you?" he added, looking Fin over with a sneer. "Should be a bit more cautious, Fin. ...Or is it Finlay now?"

Fin didn't answer that, he simply turned away trying to hide the embarrassment he felt as he started walking and brushed off a young woman who tried to stop him for a selfie.

Comments

[sunsongs]

"That's who he is. I don't think he could be anything else." Coby seemed lighter, warmer just talking about the angel, an echo of the love they shared when together.

"It had been a long time. I can't believe how lucky we were, getting another chance to get to know each other."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"...How long?" Fin asked curiously, trying to sound casual, though he was dying to know if Coby was like Anael.

[sunsongs]

That seemed to answer Coby's question of what Fin knew about Anael, but it didn't do much for knowing how to answer him. "It's hard to say." What the hell, why not? "Do you believe in past lives, Fin?"

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Like reincarnation?" Fin asked, looking thoughtful. "I've certainly not ruled it out as a possibility. There's something terribly romantic about being born again- Perhaps living a similar life in a new time or place... Why?"

[sunsongs]

"I don't know about romantic," Coby said, twisting and picking at his bracelets. "It may be like miracles that way." They'd already agreed miracles weren't always all that.

"Hani's known me before. He recognized me from who I used to be. Some of it's up here," Coby tapped his temple, "but I don't remember much. Enough to appreciate finding him again, though."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"That's remarkable," Fin replied. "Is it like recalling a dream? Or..."

[sunsongs]

It's madness, but Coby wouldn't say as much. Not to a stranger, rarely even to those who knew him well, but in their case, they usually had some idea. Once they'd seen it at least.

"Not exactly. An actor friend used to compare it to people who couldn't separate the actor from the role, except it's not someone else conflating the two."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"That sounds dreadful," Fin said softly. "The best part of playing a role is that you're playing someone else, not an extension of yourself- Even when you grow attached to the part."

[sunsongs]

"It is someone else." That was part of the problem. "Just, sometimes it's hard to tell where the lines are between me and not-me."

Coby shook his head. "Don't mind me, man. It's no big. I need to get out of my head sometimes is all. Not drag other people in."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"No- No, I'm interested," Fin assured him. "If you need to talk about it, I'm pleased to listen. Honest."

[sunsongs]

"Nah." Coby shook his head, and drank some coffee before it cooled too much more. "I'm a fan of sweep it under the rug and forget about it. We were talking about Hani, and how I knew him. That's how. He gets it, and even if he didn't, he'd be as amazing to be with, you know?"

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin nodded his understanding, letting the topic drop.

"He's been very good to me. A good friend. ...A caring friend."

[sunsongs]

"I can see why," Coby said, a warm smile lighting up his face. With what little he'd seen of Fin, and all he knew about Anael, it felt right. "You feel a lot. He'd be drawn to that."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Do I?" Fin asked, tilting his head thoughtfully. "I suppose so. I've never thought about it, to be honest."

[sunsongs]

Shrugging, because Coby hadn't given it a lot of thought, just saying what felt right, and true, in the moment. "Yeah, I think you do. But most good actors are like that, don't you think?"

[prince_of_nymphs]

"It is terribly easy to get lost in the fears and desires of whoever I'm playing," Fun admitted.

[sunsongs]

"I bet you're a total romantic too." With the way Fin talked about his lover, that was an easy guess. "And Hani's in love with love."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Oh, not really. I enjoy romance, but- Well, let's just say I was a late bloomer, and I'm still exploring that aspect of my soul. My lover, Will- he means everything to me. He's my world- But our relationship is far from traditional. ...Though perhaps it's foolish of me to think romance must go hand in hand with- Well, walking hand in hand with only the one you love."

[sunsongs]

He means everything... He's my world. "Oh yeah, you're a romantic." Coby smirked. "Romance isn't all heart-eyes and heaving bosoms. It's what you make of it."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin smiled at that, warm and genuine. "No, it isn't is it," he agreed, nodding his agreement. "It's been remarkable finally embracing that part of myself. I spent so long terrified of what my heart wanted, I wish I'd not been such a hateful coward in my youth. ...I was wilfully blind to my sexuality for far too long."

[sunsongs]

Once again, Coby thought how lucky he was to have the parents he did. His mom's it's all good had been engrained in Coby young, and it had kept him from struggling with his sexuality in ways many people did. Then again, he had plenty of other things to struggle with, so maybe that was fair. "You can't go living in the past, dude. Enjoy what you have now, instead of beating yourself up about what you missed out on."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I know," Fin shrugged. "I just feel like I need to make up for lost time."

[sunsongs]

Coby laughed. "Oh, I'm all for that when it means more feeling good now. But I'm easy like that."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"My hedonism only seems to come out when pills and drink are involved I'm afraid, which is why I try and avoid both when I've sense to do so," Fin admitted, looking a touch embarrassed by his vices and the hold they often had on him. "Though I suppose lately I've found myself more open to more physical temptation, if not still hopelessly blind to the advances of others."

[sunsongs]

Coby had experimented with a lot of different drugs, but came back to pot most often. It helped with the voices in his head and the disconnect he sometimes fell prey too didn't seem as bad, or maybe it actually wasn't. Hard to tell. Regardless, he wasn't going to judge anybody for indulging. "See, a little hedonism would be more reason for me to imbibe. Or a lot of hedonism. If you're ever tempted..." he left the invitation open, but then thought to add, "That's not an advance, really, so you know. More like an invitation."