OTA

[winter_wisp]

It had been some time now since his attack, and though he still wore a few faded bruises that stubbornly refused to fade, the streaks of purple and blue across his fair skin were not what was bothering the pixie. Guilt clung to him, weighing him down, waking him in the night, and dampening his mood. It didn't matter how many times his friends and kin insisted he'd just been protecting himself, pain stabbed through his heart any time he let his mind wander to that night.

He'd replayed it over and over in his head, the man's words, the feeling of his fists and the pain that had left him weak and breathless- And the feeling of ice as his power had reached out to protect him. He hadn't meant to harm the man, but there was no undoing what had been done. All Winter could do now was live with the pain of knowing he had taken a life while defending his own.

Not wanting to be fussed over or worried about, he'd taken to going out more during the day. Wandering the city and wasting hours at the library or the shops. Anywhere quiet and calm, really.

Some days he made his way over to a small ballet school near the centre of town. Through large glass windows he'd watch the girls inside learn their positions and practice their jumps. They were so graceful, all smiles and giggles, even when their teacher's voice grew stern and they all rushed to get back into place. Winter found he envied them- But also found comfort in watching them dance.

Usually when the class ended, Winter would leave, but one day the instructor had signalled for him to come inside, and Winter had been curious enough to do just that.

"This is the third time you've watched one of my lessons," she noted. "Do you dance?"

Winter bit his lip, then shook his head. "Not like they dance," he said as the girls shuffled past him and out onto the street. "They're very elegant. I'm not sure I could be that."

The instructor raised a brow, then smiled. "No? Well, I do like a challenge..."

He'd been going daily since, learning at a rate that Miss Fairlite insisted was very impressive. She waxed on about natural grace and ability, but Winter found, for once, he wasn't interested in the praise. He didn't come to be told he was good or talented- He came because it felt good. Because the music made his heart patter in a way most of the music he devoured usually did not. ...Because for nearly an hour a day he felt free of his guilt and worries, his full focus on the dance and Miss Fairlite's instruction.

It was wonderful. Better than ice cream even.

(OTA. Feel free to have seen Winter dancing through the window and either come in to watch, or meet him outside after. :D)

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[phouka]

The Phouka was used to Finlay mediating such disagreements between them, so when he simply didn't it was unsettling. He knew Winter would not be so easily told.

So he huffed and stomped away, collecting his clothes and taking his wounds to the bedroom where he might be able to sulk away the insult. Doing spells. How dare he?

[winter_wisp]

Winter didn't want to be alone though, and he hopped off the table to follow.

"Where are you going? You said we would go play," he sulked. "Phooou-ka," he whined, his voice low and melodious.

[phouka]

He was sulking in his own right, the sting of the accusation smarting still. He went into their bedroom and flopped down on the bed, his mouth set in a petulant pout.

[winter_wisp]

"Phouka!" Winter whined again, flopping onto the bed beside him.

he scowled, but it soon softened to something less sulky.

"I felt funny before, when you- when you licked your thumb. ...Like how I feel at night sometimes. In bed. ...You swear it wasn't a spell?" he asked quietly.

[phouka]

The Phouka heard him and slowly turned his head to look at Winter. The soft confession gave him an understanding he had missed before. Now it all became clear.

"That was no spell," he said. "That was desire, Winter. Have you never felt desire in the daylight?"

[winter_wisp]

"Not like that," Winter replied, looking embarrassed and shaking his head.

[phouka]

"It is not uncommon," he replied. "I often feel it when you are near."

[winter_wisp]

"It's inconvenient, and I don't like it," Winter scowled. "How do I make it not happen?"

[phouka]

"You cannot stop it," he said after a moment of thought. "Or, if you can, I do not know how. Does it bother you so much?"

[winter_wisp]

Winter shrugged, still embarrassed.

"You sniffed me," he said after a moment, giving Phouka's shoulder a light shove.

[phouka]

"I did. I do it often. I thought you did not mind...perhaps you have simply never noticed," he replied, still a bit defensive.

[winter_wisp]

"No, I don't mind. ...I like it," Winter grinned. "...Don't be cross any more Phouka. Please. I 'm sorry I said you were doing spells. I didn't understand what was happening, that's all."

[phouka]

"I am not cross. I am hurt. That was very rude, Winter. I am no witch and you should know better than to accuse me, of all in the world, of doing something unkind to you," the Phouka said, not quite ready to be done sulking.

[winter_wisp]

Winter huffed, and gave Phouka another shove.

"You like witches," he accused. "You like Sunny. I know this is true."

[phouka]

"I like Sunny. I do not like witches," he countered. "And you like her too! She is kind and fun and pretty."

[winter_wisp]

Winter huffed.

He did like Sunny, and she was kind and fun. ...Okay, and pretty. Very pretty. Though he didn't like hearing Phouka call others pretty.

Now it was his turn to sulk, and the pixie huffed, rolling onto his side, his back to Phouka.

[phouka]

"Why are you cross? I can have friends as well as you can," the Phouka said. Though part of him wondered if he wasn't allowed. All of his friends were either Winter's friends or the prince's...or both. He had none of his own, all to himself.

[winter_wisp]

Winter huffed, stewing a bit, then turning over to look at Phouka.

"She is not a friend though. She's... You- I know! I know things. I can feel it even when you say her name. She is your sexy friend, and I don't like it. It makes me feel like kicking things."

And Winter really didn't like that- Because he loved Phouka, and he loved Sunny. He didn't understand why Phouka wanting Sunny would make him feel bad. Shouldn't he be happy? Shouldn't he want the people he loved to be happy and tingly the way he was?

Winter made a small sound, then poofed himself small, taking off to return to the kitchen. Maybe if he put sweet things in his face, he would feel better.

[phouka]

Phouka watched him go, flitting away from those words and from his own Phouka. That made him profoundly sad and he sat slowly, watching the space where Winter had vanished through the door. His heart was little more than a dull thud and his stomach felt full of stones.

Regret was nothing he'd been taught. The Phouka, as a rule, regretted nothing. They had nothing but duty and there was no regret in duty or service. But his life here was different and now he had friends and love and a home unlike he'd ever known. He was still a servant, but he had freedom like he would have never known.

He could hear Winter in the kitchen where he'd left the cakes and chocolate and he slowly got up. One step. Another. He crept out of the room and carefully, carefully made his way to Winter.

"I will not be her friend," he offered quietly. It pained him greatly to willingly give up someone so dear, but he would not be a cause of trouble for Winter.

[winter_wisp]

Winter was sitting on the table with a cupcake that was almost as big as he was, picking sprinkles off the top.

He looked up from what he was doing, frowning as he studied Phouka.

"If you can stop being her friend so easily, you were not ever friends at all," he said simply, a small dollop of wisdom from the usually scattered and youthful creature.

"I didn't say you couldn't be her friend, it's not my place to decide who you share your heart or bed with, Phouka. ...I just don't like feeling this way- But..."

He was quiet for a moment, scooping some icing off the cupcake and studying it.

"It isn't a matter of- Of you wanting her, it's a matter of my heart being selfish. That's not something you fix, Phouka. It's something I think I have to take care of myself. ...Like in films, when two people love the same one. The best resolution is never to quarrel, that doesn't fix anyone's heart. All the people have to grow and change, and things eventually work themselves out. ...Well, okay, once I saw it resolved by a zombie eating one of them, but I don't want Fin to eat either of you. ...Or one time they all just got into bed together, but Fin said that wasn't a real movie, it was an adult movie- And that I wasn't to tell him any more about it. ...I didn't know they made films just for adults. Did you?"

[phouka]

Phouka looked down at a lone sprinkle on the floor and focused on it as Winter spoke. He heard. Felt the truth of it. He could not, even though he offered, simply stop being friends with Sunny. It may well kill him to do so.

Nor could he hurt Winter. He would not be party to that. Even if it wasn't him, even if it was a matter of the little pixie's heart being selfish, he couldn't bring himself to do anything he knew brought up those feelings.

And so he stood, the sprinkle in his vision, not sure what to say or do. Winter's words became noise until the noise was clearly a question. Only then did he look up.

"What did you ask?"

[winter_wisp]

Winter shook his head a bit, then sighed. "It's not important, Phouka."

He was quiet for a moment, then cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should find another lover also. Then my heart will not ache over yours," he suggested.

"...How do I do that?" he asked after a beat.

[phouka]

"You find someone you desire and then you court them," he said. "You compliment them and touch them carefully, and when they smell rich and sweet like desire you ask them to bed."

He gave the information because he'd been asked, but he found that perhaps his heart was selfish as well because he didn't much like the thought of Winter having another lover.

[winter_wisp]

Winter pulled a face at that, his nose scrunching up slightly.

"That sounds hard. Can't I just order pizza and ask them if they want to be naked with me?"

[phouka]

Phouka's laugh exploded from him, a loud caw of a laugh, then he smacked his hand over his mouth. His smile could not be contained and lit up his dark eyes.

"You could try but I fear you would not be successful," he said.