OTA

[winter_wisp]

It had been some time now since his attack, and though he still wore a few faded bruises that stubbornly refused to fade, the streaks of purple and blue across his fair skin were not what was bothering the pixie. Guilt clung to him, weighing him down, waking him in the night, and dampening his mood. It didn't matter how many times his friends and kin insisted he'd just been protecting himself, pain stabbed through his heart any time he let his mind wander to that night.

He'd replayed it over and over in his head, the man's words, the feeling of his fists and the pain that had left him weak and breathless- And the feeling of ice as his power had reached out to protect him. He hadn't meant to harm the man, but there was no undoing what had been done. All Winter could do now was live with the pain of knowing he had taken a life while defending his own.

Not wanting to be fussed over or worried about, he'd taken to going out more during the day. Wandering the city and wasting hours at the library or the shops. Anywhere quiet and calm, really.

Some days he made his way over to a small ballet school near the centre of town. Through large glass windows he'd watch the girls inside learn their positions and practice their jumps. They were so graceful, all smiles and giggles, even when their teacher's voice grew stern and they all rushed to get back into place. Winter found he envied them- But also found comfort in watching them dance.

Usually when the class ended, Winter would leave, but one day the instructor had signalled for him to come inside, and Winter had been curious enough to do just that.

"This is the third time you've watched one of my lessons," she noted. "Do you dance?"

Winter bit his lip, then shook his head. "Not like they dance," he said as the girls shuffled past him and out onto the street. "They're very elegant. I'm not sure I could be that."

The instructor raised a brow, then smiled. "No? Well, I do like a challenge..."

He'd been going daily since, learning at a rate that Miss Fairlite insisted was very impressive. She waxed on about natural grace and ability, but Winter found, for once, he wasn't interested in the praise. He didn't come to be told he was good or talented- He came because it felt good. Because the music made his heart patter in a way most of the music he devoured usually did not. ...Because for nearly an hour a day he felt free of his guilt and worries, his full focus on the dance and Miss Fairlite's instruction.

It was wonderful. Better than ice cream even.

(OTA. Feel free to have seen Winter dancing through the window and either come in to watch, or meet him outside after. :D)

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[phouka]

"I had other lovers, but I loved no one else," he answered, studying his fine new clothes. "My lovers were my kin. Other Phouka. And on one occasion the queen chose me of all my kin to serve at the pleasure of an elf," he said with a note of pride at the fact that he, of all his like kin, had been selected.

[winter_wisp]

"I only had Aspid. ...And he was not a lover, he just- took what lovers should have," Winter frowned. "Maybe that's why my heart is so selfish. I need to be enjoyed by others. ...Do you think Fae Willy would take me to bed if I asked? He favours me. Not as much as he favours Fin, but maybe enough to share a bed."

[phouka]

"No!" he barked sharply, so loudly it startled him. To control himself he dug his fingernails into the meat of his hand until it hurt. He knew he should not have said that, nor so forcefully. The prince could do as he pleased, regardless of the Phouka's feelings.

[winter_wisp]

Winter nearly fell off the Phouka's shoulder, upset and startled as he fluttered off to hide in his little house.

He was an attractive pixie. ...Wasn't he? Why would fae Willy not want him? Did Phouka think he wasn't good enough? That a pixie was unworthy of being wanted by a fae?

[phouka]

The Phouka heart the soft flutter of Winter's wings and he turned to watch him. He followed immediately, dropping to his hands and knees to peer in the little house.

"I did not mean to frighten you," he apologized. Then he paused for a moment and worried his bottom lip with his teeth. "...Not the prince. Please not the prince. Court anyone else. Court Finlay. But not the prince. I share your love with him too much already," he added, his voice growing softer and softer as he spoke.

[winter_wisp]

Winter wandered to the window, but didn't come out. He didn't want to be startled again.

"I don't want to court him. I wish to be wanted. ...And not by Finlay," he added, wrinkling his nose. "He smells of weird herbs."

[phouka]

He swallowed hard.

"Winter...it is not my place to make demands and if you want to be desired and take lovers...then so be it. But I will beg you, on my knees as I am, beg you please, please not the prince. Please, Winter. Anyone else," he said, his hurt making his voice tremble.

[winter_wisp]

"You have other lovers!" Winter argued, stomping his foot and looking upset. "You are mean, Phouka. Mean. You make me feel bad for having a selfish heart, but you will not allow me to do as you do."

The pixie stomped his foot again, but it was pain, not anger, that made him do so.

Fluttering out of the doll house, he went to the window, only to find it shut. Frustrated, he started for the door instead, heading out into the hall and then off To Fin and Fae Willy's flat.

Fin was gone, his keys and wallet missing, and so Winter zoomed off to the bedroom, finding one of Fae Willy's discarded shirts and curling up in it to make himself feel better.

[phouka]

The Phouka followed after him but once inside the prince's flat he saw Winter fly into the bedroom and he stopped. He wasn't sure what to do or what to say. He did not mean to make Winter feel bad. He never wanted him to feel bad. It was his duty to keep Winter safe and happy.

He thought he knew what might make the pixie happy and so he slipped out of his clothes, changed form, and padded his way into the bedroom. He whined softly as he sniffed the air to find where Winter was at.

[winter_wisp]

Winter peeked out of the nest he'd made, huffing and then hiding again.

"I am not here!" he peeped.

[phouka]

He had keen ears and a sharp nose and the Phouka found him in the nest and began to sniff him. Hot breath puffed from his nose until he found Winter, then he licked the little pixie with a friendly tongue.

[winter_wisp]

Winter huffed, wrapping himself up in the shirt and frowning.

"I do not want your kisses," he said. "They are wet and gross, and I don't like them," he lied.

[phouka]

The Phouka whined and licked him twice more, then backed off enough to lower his front half to the floor and wag his tail playfully. He hoped he could entice Winter to play, though part of him knew the pixie was likely too cross with him.

[winter_wisp]

"No!" Winter sulked, stomping his foot. "If you want to speak to me, be a Phouka and speak. I'm not playing. ...This isn't fun," he added quietly.

[phouka]

IN the crouched position he became himself again, an aspect of himself, and then he sank to the floor. Lying on his belly he looked at Winter.

"Do not be cross with me," he said. "I am sorry I am jealous. I am sorry I am selfish."

[winter_wisp]

Winter studied Phouka, then looked down at his feet.

"I don't like when we argue, Phouka. It hurts my heart," the pixie said quietly.

[phouka]

"As it does mine," he agreed. "But you are ever my friend and love, Winter. I..."

He paused, unsure he had the right to ask for what he wanted. But he decided to be brave.

"I want you to be mine alone," he said. "We are long lived and if not right now, then some day. Some day I want to be one another's only."

[winter_wisp]

Winter heard 'mine alone', and his heart beat faster- For all the wrong reasons.

"No," Winter said, looking upset. "No, Phouka. I love you, with all my heart, but- I will not be owned. Never again."

[phouka]

"Not owned, Winter," he said, then sighed and laid his head down on his arms. His eyes wee dark and full of sorrow. "I would not own you. You are free as I shall never be."

[winter_wisp]

Winter studied the Phouka, wondering if things would be different if Phouka was free. Would he stay here? Or would he abandon Winter in search of someone else?

"I could free you," Winter said. "...I could make a wish."

[phouka]

"If I was free I would never have to go back to the palace," he smiled slowly. "I cannot wish it myself. It is forbidden. But if you were to wish such a thing no one would get into trouble..."

[winter_wisp]

Winter considered that, still wrapped up in Willy's shirt as he sat down.

"What do you think Fae Willy would ask in return?" he asked. "I have nothing to give him, Phouka. Nothing of worth."

[phouka]

"He demands servitude or favours from most," the Phouka replied and his hopes fell. He knew Winter would not do well if he was bound to serve a year and a day, and if the prince wanted a favour all he had to do was ask.

[winter_wisp]

"I do not want to serve," Winter said quietly. "There must be something else. Something special I can offer."

[phouka]

"Perhaps you should ask him what he would want," he replied. "Something only you could give him."

It was almost too much to hope for. Freedom, Winter free of servitude. They could both be happy, could travel as they pleased. Part of him knew it was foolish to hope for such a thing. Surely the prince would never agree.