OTA

[willysilver]

It was a lovely night by all accounts. The weather was just cool enough for a jacket, the breeze making the leaves flutter and twitch. The moon hung bright in the sky, nearly full, and in the park there were people enjoying the night.

Willy was out busking tonight, though he had no heart for it. No joy, no enchantment. Tonight, as for the past nights, he sat on the edge of a fountain and he played sorrowful songs of lost love. He understood them now. He had never truly understood love, that much he had come to realise since Fin had departed. He knew desire and passion, he knew friendship, he knew possession, but he had never understood partnership or equality or even the necessity of respect. He knew now, though.

It was a hard learned lesson. His music wasn't the only thing lacking enchantment. His own visage was ashy grey, his luxurious hair drooped flat, the curls dull and limp. There was no light in his green eyes, they were flat and dull and dark.

His fingers strummed the strings mournfully.

I've stolen all the stars to make a wish we can fly
Away, away up high to that old place in time
Where our pictures never fade and our hearts don't lie
Won't you stay a while and watch our world go by
I'll keep holding on to you and your Saturday smile

Has our Autumn died
Help me find you again

I think it's love
I think it's love
That gets us through
All our goodbyes
So when we die
Think of love
I'll think of love
And thoughts of you
To lay me down
I think it's love
That keeps us new

If only it could be the very first time
Kiss me like it means something inside
I don't want to leave and I'm afraid to find
Our fate die in a dream and let me know you're not mine
Lie a little longer, my Saturday smile

Has our Autumn died
Help me find you again

I think it's love
I think it's love
That gets us through
All our goodbyes
So when we die
Think of love
I'll think of love
And thoughts of you
To lay me down
I think it's love
That keeps us new

The people who passed nearby were struck by the power of the fae's melancholy. He mourned not only his lost love, but the fact that he couldn't find him. He had visited the hotel many times but now the Phouka and Winter had gone off to make a home of their own and Fin did not come or go from the hotel anymore. And the longer he was gone the harder it became to feel him with any specificity in the city of millions. He knew he needed to find Fin to speak to him, do make what repairs he could, but he could hardly find the energy to even strum the stings tonight.

Comments

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin drew away from that word, looking almost unnerved by it.

"Will," he said quietly.

[willysilver]

"You have found me when I have lost you so completely. Where have you been? I have tried to find you to no avail..." he said, pleading for an answer.

[prince_of_nymphs]

A few people in the crowd were watching them, and Fin looked uncomfortable as he wrapped his arms around himself again.

"Maybe we should talk about this somewhere less public?" he suggested, even though part of him wasn't sure he should be alone with Will right now.

[willysilver]

"I would like that," he said. "I...must walk. I have no energy for anything else."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"That's fine, I don't intend to go far with you," Fin assured him, refusing to pity him. "There's a cafe on the corner. That'll be fine."

[willysilver]

Willy nodded and rose, his regal grace still clinging to him even as his shell withered. He took his guitar and case once he'd pocketed the few coins in there and started to walk.

"I miss you terribly," he said to start. "I have wanted to speak with you but I lost you in the sea of mortals. I cannot find you."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"Bollocks you couldn't find me," Fin replied a touch sharply. "My face has been all over social media. You didn't even have to turn on a computer though. Winter knew where I was, I'm sure he told Phouka. You could have asked either of them."

[willysilver]

"They are gone," Willy replied. "Winter wants nothing to do with me and the Phouka is devoted to him. You are no longer at the hotel, this much I know. I have tried, Fin. I have needed to talk to you."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin laughed, a pained and broken little sound.

"So talk," he said, not even bothering to go into the cafe, and instead resting against the wall outside.

[willysilver]

"I have been cruel to you. Not only the wish Hex made, but every day before. I thought I loved you, but I only kept you. Desired you. You were mine because I wanted you," he said softly.

"I know now how foolish I am. How wrong. You are a light in my life. You are my heart. You have power equal to my own, not magic, before that, even. You are a powerful man and I never respected that part of you and I am wrong. I do not know how you could love me so completely and I could be so blind. I love you and now I say that with a greater understanding. I love you, Fin, and I am deeply, truly sorry."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin was silent for a long moment, closing his eyes and inhaling a deep breath to centre himself.

"Say I believe you. Say I believe that you've somehow learned to love me as an equal... That- It doesn't undo what you did to me," he said quietly. "You gave me to someone. You took away my ability to say no. ...You as good as let him rape me. Do you understand that? I ask, only because I'm not sure you do, Will."

[willysilver]

"I do understand," he replied, barely more than a whisper. "The truth of it burns me and I have never regretted anything...I do not regret. But I regret this. I regret ever thinking...not thinking of you first above all. I preyed on Hex's loneliness and desire to gain a mortal soul, and I turned you over like a pimp without regard for your trust or your will. I would ask your forgiveness, but I do not deserve it. I must earn it if you will allow me the chance."

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin exhaled with a shudder, rubbing the stubble on his chin, then looking away.

"I don't know to forgive you for this. I imagine it'll take time. ...Time, and you showing me that you've changed," he said softly.

He pushed his hair back out of his face, then sighed. "You look sick. I don't... I don't want you to be sick. How can I help?" he asked quietly.

[willysilver]

"I am fading without you. If you would come back to me I may recover, but I fear the distance of your heart is more than you simply being removed from my presence. I must win your heart again. It is no small thing to say you are a part of me. You complete me. Without you, evermore, I will become Daoine no longer and fade to a Bean. The Sidhe do not die, but we do change."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"That's not fair, making me the one thing that could save you. It's not fair. I don't want you to fade, but I can't just pretend that all is forgiven," Fin protested.

[willysilver]

"I know. I want this to be your choice, not your burden," he replied. "I do want you to come home but...you are free as I am. I cannot make you, though I would plead."

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I don't want you to beg," Fin replied, perhaps a bit harshly. "I just- I need time, Will. I think... I think if we're going to try and work things out, I need my own space a while longer. I'm staying with Pippa, and I think I should stay there until I, um... Until I feel safe around you again."

[willysilver]

"Of course. As you should. I want you to come back to me freely. I would ask to see you, though. I miss you terribly," he replied, daring to reach out to stroke Fin's arm.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin tensed briefly, but eventually relaxed under the touch.

"I miss you too," he admitted. "People keep telling me I should walk away. That I should leave you. I can't though. I love you. I'm angry, and I'm hurting, but... I love you."

[willysilver]

"I love you as well," he said, daring to move his hand to cover Fin's heart. "I know now the truth of what I say. My love is pure and true."

[prince_of_nymphs]

His magic lit up under the touch, and it felt so good. Better than any high, better than sex.

"Damn it," he swore softly, looking away and wishing he hadn't trapped himself against a brick wall. It left him with no elegant way to retreat.

"It's not fair, you know that?" he said softly. "This bond we have. ...It's not fair. No one makes me feel the way you do. No one."

[willysilver]

"Perhaps. Perhaps it is unfair. But it is true and real. No one makes me feel like this. No one touches me the way you do. Your words. Your fingers. Your love. I am ever yours, Fin."

He was not so cruel as to attempt a kiss, though he wanted to with every fiber of his being. More than anything he wanted Fin to take hold of him.

[prince_of_nymphs]

"I miss you," Fin said softly. "I hate missing you. I think about you all the time. I distract myself by giving my body the things it desires, but... I ache when I think about you. I ache."

[willysilver]

"I am so sorry, Fin," Willy said. "In all things I never want to cause you pain. And yet I do. With every thoughtless act, every moment of inattention, and I am sorry. Would you...could you give me a chance to be worthy of you finally?" Willy asked.

[prince_of_nymphs]

Fin was silent for a long moment, closing his eyes so he could focus and think.

"Tell me I'm your equal. ...Don't just say it," he added, opening his eyes and holding Will's gaze. "Mean it. Tell me that I'm your equal, and mean it."